We’re here for you!” My congregation knows who I am. They were like, “Go play your heart out! This is what you want to do. What has the reaction been like from your congregation?Įveryone from my congregation and my lead pastor released me to play the game. TVLINE | Often in Survivor (and in real life, too), women are judged or vilified way more harshly than men, whether they’re mothers, teachers or religious players such as yourself. That was a hard moment in the game, for sure. I still love him, so it’s all good vibes. Every time he felt I didn’t, I went and made amends with him. But I know who I am, and I was listening to Deshawn. I was a boss in the game because I wasn’t sitting down and letting people push me over. If I was anyone else, I might not be seen the way that I am, but because I am a woman of color, people will see that as I’m not listening, or I’m being aggressive, or I’m being bossy. I wanted to be someone who was driving the game, so I spoke my opinion and I strategized my little heinie off, and I played the game. I didn’t want to be a goat to take to the end. I didn’t want to be a “Yes woman,” or a pushover. I feel like it was coming from somewhere else, and that he used it as a reason to eventually vote me out. With Deshawn, a lot of it was out of place. He’d often walk up to myself, Danny, Liana and Ricard and be like, “I don’t care who’s voted off, as long as it’s not me,” and he’d saunter off, and after he’d come back and say, “I feel like I’m not being heard!” At the end of the day, Ricard and I would fight a lot, probably a lot more than you saw on TV, but we were going to move together as a team. I spent a lot of time listening to both of them.ĭeshawn is a brilliant young man, but he’s also really sensitive. I gave Ricard Naseer, because he was so upset that the extra vote should be ours to use as a team, so I gave it to him. But I definitely spent a lot of time listening to Deshawn, which is ironic because everyone’s saying my game started to dip when I stopped listening to people, but actually my game started to dip when I started listening to everybody more than I should have! I gave Deshawn Tiffany - I didn’t want to vote out Tiffany - but he wanted to protect Heather.
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I have thick enough skin to be able to handle that. I think they wanted to show, from Deshawn’s perspective, how he was feeling, and I totally respect that. There are definitely no hard feelings except for my own processing and emotional turmoil. Did you feel the same way, and are there any hard feelings? You did call him a snake on your way out!įirst of all, I love that boy.
TVLINE | Deshawn seemed to struggle with the communication between you two. I never in a million years thought they would flip, and they did.
It was a smart move for Ricard, and Ricard knew the person to go to to get that extra vote he needed.
Let’s get to the end and win this thing together.” But I think for him, he felt like if he was in Final 3 with me, he wouldn’t have won, and he’s probably right. I said, “This is where my head is at too, and I know we’re having a hard time with our relationship, but I do want you to feel heard. That’s my dream, that’s my hope, I love y’all.” That morning, Deshawn promised and swore on the culture that he was in for the mission. I told them (and people will never believe this): “If we all get there together, take me out at four, but I just want us to all get there together. My dream world - which Ricard would never have let happen - was myself, Ricard, Liana, Danny and Deshawn for Final 5, and then Final 4, of course, us four. I didn’t want to ever stop working with him. He didn’t have the relationships to go anywhere else at that time, so he really was a number for the four. We had the all-Black alliance, and we had Ricard. Was that your ideal Final 4 scenario?Īt this point, we had the numbers. TVLINE | There was a lot of game talk about an all-Black alliance.